Family Therapy Counselling
Insights and Therapeutic Solutions
Marriage & Family Counsellors, Relationship Counselling, Parenting
A family interacts with each other to create an organisation. There are unspoken and spoken rules, assigned roles for each member and a power structure with a unique form of communication.
In the past the husband used to be the provider and the mother the care giver. Each child would be conditioned into a role such as a joker, high achiever, dreamer etc. These roles are developed to meet the needs of the family and they generally support the child's tendencies. Each member has a number of roles for instance, the woman may be the mother, wife, daughter, carer etc. When the boundaries become confused and individuals refuse to conform to their expected roles, then this leads to conflict. This may have a domino effect making it difficult to unravel and resolve.
When two families move in together there are a number of complex issues that need to be addressed. Issues around parenting, financial commitments, household tasks and the role each family member plays. These issues are challenging and if the couple find it difficult to communicate and negotiate their needs then life together can be difficult.
Often the couple play out their 'happy family' fantasy and want everyone to feel the way they do. They want to be successful in their relationship together, expect their children will get along with each other and they will be happy in their togetherness. This strong desire for everything to be 'good' and 'right' can lead to denial on what is really going on in their family.
When families merge, everyone experiences a degree of loss. There is happiness that they have a partner to assist with parenting but they have also lost autonomous parenting which they had when were a single parent. Both partners have different pictures on what they think the family should look like. All these expectations are complicated by children who may want their biological family to reunite, they may not be happy at losing their position in their family, they were the eldest in their original family but now they are the youngest. Children at times feel disloyal and guilty when they have a good time with their stepparent. Feelings are exacerbated with teenagers, children with disabilities and with in laws that are too involved.
, Marriage & Family Counsellors
, Relationship Counselling