Abuse and Trauma Counselling
Insights and Therapeutic Solutions
The definition of neglect is the deprivation of your physical, emotional and intellectual needs. As human beings we have needs that must be met to survive .When our needs are not met in childhood it impacts our capacity to function as adults
Emotional neglect occurs when we are not stimulated, comforted and loved. Being inappropriately disciplined, criticised and yelled at has a major impact on the child at the time leaving scars that are difficult to resolve as adults.
Physical abuse is easily defined, people are confused when a child with a minimum amount of smacking during childhood suffers emotionally as an adult, while a child that was smacked is impacted less. The experience is related to the context of the abuse and the resilience of the child. Physical punishment is against the law in Australia because research has revealed that physical punishment on any level leaves the child confused about love, (parents loved and beat them at the same time) struggle with their emotions and at times become abusers themselves in adulthood.
Sexual Abuse are actions or inaction by a person exposing a child to or involving a child in sexual processes beyond her or his understanding or inappropriate to the child/person's developmental level. Molestation or indecent dealings is the touching of sexual areas or genitals of the child or vice versa.
There is a growing awareness of the prevalence of abuse and it's impact on many lives. Research on the impact of abuse, where abuse occurred for a prolonged period of time shows devastating and life time consequences. Debilitating levels of guilt, continuing low self esteem, difficulties in intimacy and interpersonal relationship problems.
Any form of abuse has an affect on our view of the world, our self esteem and our mental health. Counselling helps with clarifying our beliefs about ourselves, looking at our behaviours which may be directly connected to the abuse experience and helping with healing. Experiencing abuse as a child is not fair but remaining in the hurt is even more unfair. Healing and health can be achieved with your effort and determination. Counselling can bring you to a place of peace and understanding that will ultimately give you quality of life.
When we experience an event that threatens our lives and sends our adrenalin levels over our limits very quickly, we feel traumatised. Often we believe trauma to be a big event like a fire, earth quake or war, but it can also occur when you are bullied or over powered verbally or physically.
Adults that yell at their children or over power them are not aware of the impact it has on children. Children do not have the brain capacity or emotional maturity to understand that their parents are angry and just letting off steam. Their fear levels sky rocket leaving them in an emotional state that is difficult or impossible to manage. When they grow into adults they experience low levels of anxiety which they do not recognise but continue to live with. It's like a duck on a lake, the duck looks serene but its legs are flapping furiously under the water. Adults look cool and composed but internally they are anxious and struggling to manage situations in their lives.
The symptoms of post traumatic stress are often obvious when we have experienced abnormal situations such as war, accidents or life threatening situations.
To enable recovery the person needs support and safety from relationships that provide encouragement and patience. The other option to bury trauma leads to a whole range of physical, emotional and mental stress that does not go away.