Counselling starts with me listening to you as you relate your
concerns. I'll often ask questions for clarification. I do this because
I'm trying not only to understand what has been or is happening to you,
but also how you see the world. I'll often ask questions that are aimed
at finding out what resources and strengths you have available in your
life. A resource can be anything from a friend to a skill to membership
of a religion, club, family or culture.
Once I've asked enough questions - and sometimes well before then -
we'll start generating solutions to your problem. A solution can take
several forms, depending on the problem, the person and the environment
in which the problem shows up. For some people the solution will be that
the problem stops showing up. For others it will be that the problem
shows up in a different way - it seems to be no longer a problem, or not
as distressing. For yet other people the solution may be that they show
up in a different way - as more resourceful, skilful, patient,
graceful, confident, peaceful or happy.
Counselling is not teaching, giving advice, coaching, sympathising,
psychoanalysing or making someone do what they should do or what is good
for them. However, at different times these things may happen in a
counselling session. But always in a context of respect and with the
intention of reducing suffering. To understand more about my approach to
counselling and therapy email or call me, or read more on this site
under the tags/categories counselling and therapy.