Cyndi Darnell

By: Sex Therapist Cyndi Darnell  28-Jun-2012
Keywords: Counselling, Health, Therapy

There is an assumption in our culture that because you are an adult, you know how to navigate the often rocky terrain of sex and relationships. When it comes to sexuality we are expected to know what we like and know who we are, then rarely deviate from that course….. OR we are expected to just go with the flow and ignore the quiet chatter that asks “Is this really all there is?”

Yet many of us struggle with this because sex and intimacy, choosing partners and navigating relationships is rarely taught or explained to us while we are growing up. For a lot of us, healthy relating and sexuality were not modelled in our families and many of us are left to make it up as we go along.While experimenting and practicing is indeed a fantastic way to learn more about ourselves and what we like, we can also sometimes be left wondering:

  • Am I doing it like everyone else?
  • Am I doing it right?
  • Have I missed something?
  • Is there more than this?

Pleasure and sexuality are exciting, powerful and vital components of living a fulfilling and contented life. Sadly, the diversity of human sexuality is often misunderstood, misrepresented and undervalued, or overemphasised in ways that can leave us feeling disconnected from its potential for connection, excitement and pleasure and contentment. Sometimes we are tricked into believing that sexuality itself is the problem, rather than how we engage with it.

It is easy to forget that we are actually in control of our responses to sex and there is a world of possibilities to explore. But, by understanding that we can learn how to navigate new, uncomfortable or confronting sexual terrain and complex, confusing and exhilarating emotions, we take control of our pleasure, our erotic expression and our overall contentment with life.It is my belief that healthy sexuality is a human right, and one to be enjoyed by everyone. It is this belief in the importance of sexuality as a powerful tool for not only pleasure, but transformation, creativity and wellness that inspires me to do the work that I do.

Keywords: Alternative, Counselling, Couples, Health, Relationship, Tantra, Therapist, Therapy, Well Being

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